Honey, I'm Home [Roxas]

The Flurry of Dancing Flames swayed on his feet as he glared up at the Castle. It had been a full week since he had seen the only place he was able to call home. The grey monstrosity had caused him enough grief and yet he was pulled back to it. Not even death had been able to free him of his hellhole. His lip curled up in a nasty sneer as amber eyes nearly glowed with anger.

It probably hadn't been wise to return to the most likely place Roxas would be. It certainly wasn't smart to come back after spending a week in Port Royal with pirates. Considering how he had ended up knocking several large, burly men flat on their asses, the rest had been positively charming with him. What passed for a cup had never been dry which meant that he had consumed enough rum to make even Jack Sparrow fall on the floor. The only thing that seemed to keep him upright was his fury and perhaps his internal temperature burning some of the alcohol off.

Now, here he was after wallowing in his own hell for days and falling into the thing that he was afraid of becoming. He had lowered his guard so much that he hadn't realized that the thoughts swirling in his head had left him in a near constant state of anger. That just fed the darkness and would later further prove to him that he was a terrible person. No, he wasn't even a person. This false thing that he was was a villain. Why had he fought against Xemnas? Why hadn't he just embraced his fate and followed Saix into the underworld that the Superior had created for them? Obviously that was his destiny, even now without the silver haired Nobody around.

Just the thought of the lies Xemnas had spun for them had his gut twisting in rage anew. A corridor opened before him and he went storming in. He entered the Grey Room with shadow and fire swirling down his arms. He would destroy this place. He would burn it to ash and leave the grey walls a blackened pile at his feet. Sure, Sora had done most of the reaping, but Axel had helped orchestrate the fall of this Organization, leading the brunet through most of them until he gave himself up to the Dusks. Why not bring down the last standing symbol of the group?

Yes, let the assassin finish the job once and for all. A wicked grin pulled at his lips, twisting his features into something fearsome. With a frustrated yell fire burst up from the floor around him. The couches caught ablaze, burning with his fury. The floor was scorched and the ceiling black where the flames had risen high enough to lick at the plain grey paint. His golden eyes took in the black scars and the red fire burning bright. Just the colors this place needed.

Roxas

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[attr="class","tiabox"]

♡TAGS: Axel

♡NOTES: I AM NOW BROKEN BEYOND RECOGNITION THANKS MADD

The night was the way it was meant to be. It was dark, dreary, dull, awful, and lacking all meaning. He had forgotten the difference between night and day in the first place - he hadn't been leaving the castle or looking at the clock regularly to be able to understand the concept of time. The sun never rose in this desolate wasteland known as the World that Never Was; Roxas was on the verge of death.

At least he had convinced himself that he must have been. Laying in bed and staring at the ceiling during the hours of being awake weren't exactly living anyways. He was begrudgingly bringing air into his lungs and expelling it to fuel his tired and energy-ridden body - this was accompanied by and endless reserve of tears. How was he continuing to drive the salty liquid out of his body when he had barely drinken a thing since he had taken his place here? He would sometimes take a sip or two when he went to the bathroom, but... It wouldn't nearly be enough to support what he was exporting.

He hadn't showered, hadn't kept up with himself, and hadn't changed out of his pajamas since he had gotten back from Prankster's Paradise, back when Axel had told him to keep his distance. Things had been going downhill since then. All Roxas knew to do, at this point, was try to keep his eyes closed so the darkness could maybe.. Bring him back to sleep. At least when he was sleeping, he didn't have to endure the awful pit in his chest that he was growing to know all too well.

Apparently, sleep had taken him. He wasn't sure for how long, but eventually, his eyes flickered back open. He hadn't moved from his position, hadn't shifted in his sleep whatsoever. It didn't take him long, though, to notice what had brought him out of his nocturnal trance. There was a heavy scent of smoke filtering in through the gap between the door to his room and the outside castle. Roxas, out of pure shock, had risen from his bed in a swift movement, his eyes widening. There was supposed to be.. No one in the castle than himself for right now. There was no chance that someone had simply burnt something in the kitchen - this was... Serious.

The blond boy began to run toward the door, fearing the worst, but the worst was far beyond what he could have ever imagined. As soon as he opened the wooden barrier, he heard awful laughter infused with screams that made his entire body freeze. That was.. Axel's voice...

Axel's voice.

"Axel?!" He screamed at the top of his lungs, breaking into a sprint for what felt like dear life toward the gray room, where the dark smoke was coming from. It got more and more potent the closer he got, and he rounded a corner only to be met with a wall of orange to red flame, dancing and threatening to lick at his skin in a deadly manner. They were the products of the eight's rage, the embodiment of the darkness that was fueling him from the inside, taking him over and destroying the wonderful person that Roxas had grown to know Axel as.

"Axel! Stop!" Roxas howled again, summoning the Kingdom Key to his right hand and casting forth an Aero spell, diminishing some of the fire to make a pathway that lead straight to the flickering army's source. Axel was standing there, though he was just as unkempt as Roxas himself was. His hair was a mess, his face was rugged, and amidst the smoke was the harsh smell of alcohol, of all things. It reminded him distinctly of Port Royal; he had to go there time and time again to attempt to find anyone that had come back into existence there, but.. He had never expected... Axel would be into that sort of thing.

"What are you doing?! You're going to burn the whole place down!" He was hoping that there would be a way to knock some sense into the one that he had called his lover, but...

Roxas wasn't so sure anymore.

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The Grey Room was becoming a black mess. The large windows that looked down on the Dark City below were marred to the point that you couldn't look out any more. A menacing laughter dragged itself out from deep within the Flurry. It was a fitting end to the Organization. Their little group was nothing but ash and so would their base. Axel was happy to facilitate this last piece of the puzzle since Sora hadn't seen fit to leave this place in ruins. He could survive the fire that would cleanse this hole from the despicable things they had done.

Never again would anyone have to think of the laziness that Demyx had shown and the beautiful music he was able to coax out of Arpeggio. Never again would the shock of Larxene's lightning shoot through someone's mind. Never again would these halls remind him of the black hole that his friendship with Siax had become. He wouldn't have to remember Roxas and Xion' running after him down to a meeting, or eagerly pleading that they leave for the clock tower. The redhead wouldn't have to keep thinking about how all those pleasant memories should never have been his.

He had killed, manipulated, cheated, and lied his way through this existence and hadn't given a care for how others had been hurt due to his actions. That wasn't what someone that stood in the light would do, certainly nothing they would allow to happen. Roxas had left him because Axel had kept him in the dark, omitted so much that he resented the Organization, resented the eighth in a way. Flames whipped around him as another howl of pain ripped from him.

Another voice broke through the roar of the fire.

The flames dimmed just a little as the red head's mind slowly registered that Roxas was here, calling for him. He straightened his posture as Roxas came through the flame, Kingdom Key in hand. Had he come to stop him with violence? Had the blond understood that it would come to this? That what their relationship had to end with, wouldn't it? The light defeating the dark? The Key of Destiny prevailing over the Flurry of Dancing Flames. Would his darling protege be able to take down the attack dog of the Organization? The amber eyed demon didn't think he had taught Roxas to be that ruthless, that heartless.

He chuckled at the blond, calling one chakram to his hand. That's the point, Roxy. This place needs to burn, He growled, slowly approaching his small lover. Former lover? Had they actually formally broken up? It didn't matter. Axel had his goal and it was so far from what Roxas wanted. If they weren't done before, this might just do it. Hasn't this place caused enough pain? It needs to be cleansed, put to rest with the others. His voice was a harsh rumble, resonating with a darkness that hadn't been there before. His pain and anger had stained his velvet baritone voice.

The red head paused, feet apart as if ready to defend his actions. Are you going to try to stop me, love? Are you going to tell me I'm wrong? He couldn't seem to wipe that horrid smirk from his face, the malicious glint in his eyes. Yet, somewhere deep down the old him peeked out. The thought that he needed to get Roxas out first, get him somewhere safe wandered through his mind before drifting back to become nothing more than white noise again.

Roxas

♥ thanks tia!

[attr="class","tiacon"]

[attr="class","tiabox"]

♡TAGS: Axel

♡NOTES: I AM NOW BROKEN BEYOND RECOGNITION THANKS MADD

Dark, darker, yet darker. He was drifting farther and farther past the point of what he felt would be of no return, but the moment that he heard Axel speaking to him, he could feel... Some sort of "drifting back," as senseless as it was. What was coming out of the Flurry' mouth by will of a venomous tongue were spiteful words that stung like harsh acid against everything that Roxas had claimed himself to be.

That's the point, Roxy. This place needs to burn.

The words were slurred and filled with emotion that just.. Wasn't like Axel. Sure, he could get pissed off, but this awful sense of rage was something that the blond had never seen come out of someone as genuine and sweet as his fiery assassin. It was like those odd primal instincts had come back, creating a monster that Roxas didn't ever want to actually meet. This wasn't the person that he feel in love with, but he could still tell that he was in there somewhere. He would get those beautiful emeralds back... Somehow. His fingers tightened around the handle of the Kingdom Key, his body starting to tremble again. The trauma that was being forced into his mind would haunt him for the rest of his pathetic life, but he promised himself he wouldn't lose Axel.

Not like this.

"With... The others?" He blinked a few times, an odd anger of his own beginning to grow. He listened to what Axel had to say and found that it was growing the fire within his own body.

"They didn't fade to give you permission to do this!" The Key spat, taking a step forward and narrowing his gaze. There was a sense about him, an air that showed he wasn't.. Afraid, like one might have considered him to be in a situation like this. "You are wrong!"

"When I think of what happened here, the first thing that comes to me is.. The times we all spent together. That's what's important." Moving just as Sora would, the boy brought his free hand to his empty chest and clutched as his loose pajama top, grimacing as he remembered he would never be, in fact, more than the husk that he was. Husk or not, though, he would do all that he could. He would fight, even if it was against the one he had devoted everything to. For everyone, for himself, for Axel.

"I'm sorry..." He murmured, taking a few more steps and raising his keyblade, pointing it toward the redhead's chest, chest as Xion did once to Roxas himself. There was a grim expression in the boy's eyes, though other than that, he showed no emotion upon his features. "Axel."

Surrounded by the flames created from his drunkenly intoxicated love trying to reach him with all of their might but remaining just out of reach, Roxas took in a deep breath, an odd light beginning to surround the key within his hand. He wouldn't let things end this way. "You're in there. I love you. I love you so much." He said it loudly, making sure that Axel would be able to hear it as clear as day, even past the alcohol barricade currently in place in his head. "But.." He paused, not averting his gaze like he would have normally done. "I can't let you do this." Another pause.

"I've beaten you before, and I can do it again."

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Oh, now this was adorable. Roxas was trying to defend the others, Nobodies that he had barely spent any time with. Had he ever really spent all that much time to say Saix hadn't deserved his fate? Had he been recruited by Marluxia as he tried to overthrow Xemnas and take over the Organization? It hadn't been his ass on the line trying to play both sides and keep his own tail out of the fire. The blond didn't have years of watching the others in their failed plans, poor schemes, and all the nonsense they tried to pull with each other.

It was almost cute that he thought that their opinions had ever mattered. Axel laughed darkly, swaying on his feet until he slouched down a little. I'm pretty sure they would hope I go down with the ship so to speak, He murmured, rolling his eyes to remember all the terrible ways they had each left this existence. Ya know, they all faded so I could live. So you could. I made sure of that. It wasn't just fading either. Our Chilly Academic burned oh so nicely. He grinned as he remembered the fear on Vexen's face as he snapped his fingers, turning him into nothing. Poor Sora had been so young and innocent and witness to murder in a way.

It hadn't been for anything more than to prove to Marluxia the redhead was on his side. At least each life that Sora had taken of the Organization had some kind of redeeming reason behind it. Well, everyone else could rationalize it. Sora had just been yet another puppet of his. Sora did his job so well, allowing me to lead him on to each of our "friends" so he could defeat them. Such a good little puppet like the Replica that took out Zexion for me. The Flurry bit his lip as he watched Roxas' reaction to all this new information. Did he know any of it? Did he realize what an awful individual he had fallen in love with? Surely not otherwise he wouldn't have allowed himself to fall so hard for him.

The firebug really didn't think that the Key would ever be able to put his all into fighting him. The rum and the darkness was taking away all of Axel's restraint, any remnants that said that he shouldn't fight back so hard. The only thing that could really hinder him at the moment was his intoxicated state and just maybe if Roxas could reach what was left of the person that loved the blond so deeply. He shuffled forward, staring down at the glowing Keyblade. Would this actually be his end? That little voice that still wanted to reach out to the light cried out, not wanting to have to fade away again, but thinking that this was the only way he could be stopped. The Keyblade needed to be used to stop him from descending all the way into this personal hell.

Yeah, sure, you beat me. When I held back. Sora thought he beat me, too. His hazy gaze drifted up from the oversized weapon to its wielder. He tried not to list to the side as he silently dared for the thirteenth to take him down. Oh, but he couldn't let the kid think that this would be easy. It just wouldn't do for the blond to consider that he could prevail without getting seriously hurt. No one knew that I could take a life with just a snap of my fingers. Vex and Sora were so surprised.

Roxas

♥ thanks tia!

[attr="class","tiacon"]

[attr="class","tiabox"]

♡TAGS: Axel

♡NOTES: I AM NOW BROKEN BEYOND RECOGNITION THANKS MADD

A nervous gulp was followed by a harsh intake of breath as things were starting to get explained to him. He couldn't help but lower his weapon, azure eyes widening to almost twice their size it seemed. Axel... Had killed them? He was told that it was all just because of Sora fighting for his noble cause, but.. This... wasn't what he was told. His eyebrows arched in a painful way, showing just how deep all of these scourges being administered onto him were running. They were clanking against his bones, draining him of all of his life and robbing him of the slightest bit of hope he had left for anything relating to his lover.

This.. Wouldn't have happened if he had just kept his stupid mouth shut.

"I.. I..." The keyblade in his hand was shaking violently before his fingers couldn't bring themselves to hold the blade anymore. It fell to the ground harshly, echoing against the charred walls. Tears were running down his cheeks yet again, the salty remnants of what was left of him finally finding their way out of the husk that was their home. His legs failed, collapsing the rest of the withered, weak body to the ground. That's right - he hadn't really eaten anything, either. He had forgotten all about it. The coloration of his skin was off, much too pale for it to be considered normal, giving him a drained and numb appearance.

"Then do it." He said just loud enough for the redhead to hear, ultimately showing signs of giving up. He didn't look up, only down at the charcoal flooring, his tears wetting the dusty surface. He was done. Done. He couldn't take this anymore, he couldn't house all of this anguish and live on like nothing had happened. He couldn't be by himself again. He had fought, and fought, and fought, but.. Happiness would never be in the cards for him. Maybe it was time he finally accepted that and all that came with it. He could just die. Then he wouldn't have to worry about anything anymore. He almost smiled at the thought.

"You killed them cuz you were told to? I shouldn't be any different." He choked out the words, noticing the flames circling around him to the point of almost touching his skin. If he was going to die here, right now, he wouldn't do it himself. It had to be by the one he loved with all of his being - if Axel could bring himself to destroy the one that he had previously said he cared for, then there truly was nothing left for Roxas in this life. He could go, then.

"Do to me what you did to the others. Snap your fingers and burn me up. It'll... It'll b-" He had to stop to cough, the smoke finally processing through his lungs and upsetting his respiratory system. "-be easy."

"...Please."

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Even the haze of alcohol couldn't keep its hold in the face of such despair. Truth holds such weight over the innocent, the naive. Roxas hadn't known that he had been behind most of the deaths of the Organization. Most of them indirectly, but he had still manipulated and left hints to keep things on track. The only thing that the blond had wrong was that he had been ordered to do it. Axel had known that it needed doing in order to save his own skin and no one else's.

The darkness couldn't keep its hold, the anger slowly ebbing away as the Keyblade fell, no longer useful. If the Key couldn't keep his weapon up, then there was no end for him. Yet, he wasn't meant to be the end of his precious blond. The last remnants of anything vaguely good in him couldn't stand the thought that he would be the one to finish off his beloved. Those tears running down Roxas' face tamed the fire within. As a result, the fire in the room started to die. The flames grew smaller and smaller until they were gone. It was still smokey and the room had turned black.

The pair was left in silence as the Flurry's blurred eyes returned to their normal, brilliant emerald color. He couldn't do it. He couldn't hurt Roxas without being provoked. The chakram returned to the darkness or wherever they were when he wasn't using them as he stared down at the hunched form of the only thing that could keep him in this world. In his drunken rage, allowing the negative feelings take hold, he had done the worst thing and let Roxas in on things he should never have known. Now he knew what a terrible monster he had fallen in love with. There was no way that their relationship would survive this.

The redhead couldn't just walk away though. He lowered himself to his knees, brow pinched in horror, pain, pity, despair, and so many other emotions that he couldn't name them all. The Flurry didn't realize that he, too, had tears in his eyes now. He really needed to go. He couldn't be allowed to hurt this small, innocent person anymore. Slowly his shaky hand reached out, hesitating before he touched the other Nobody. Roxas, He said quietly, voice steady even when everything else showed just how badly he was doing. I never meant for you to find out.

He curled his fingers back, afraid to offer comfort after being the one to damage Roxas this badly. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't be around you. I don't want to keep hurting you. He took a deep, quavering breath and started to physically push himself away from the one thing he cared about. Maybe he should seek out Sora, or another Key wielder and ask for mercy. Perhaps they would be willing to send him off. Maybe death by Keyblade would keep him out of this existence. The tall Nobody kept quietly apologizing to his blond, murmuring anything that came to mind, most of which was just him berating himself. He didn't realize that he was actually saying his different ideas on how he should die next out loud.

Roxas

♥ thanks tia!

[attr="class","tiacon"]

[attr="class","tiabox"]

♡TAGS: Axel

♡NOTES: I AM NOW BROKEN BEYOND RECOGNITION THANKS MADD

Just as he was finally coming to terms with what he had set in place for himself, he actually heard something.. That brought some fragmentation of life back into his meaningless frame. His lungs took in another breath of air, and his head raised up in the slightest just to look at the figure before him. He was met with an overwhelmingly fearful pair of green eyes. The despair within them was too real for any sort of Nobody, that was for certain; Roxas blinked a few times, watching as the weapons disintegrated from the redhead's hands.

And then the tall body, just like the younger of the two, had collapsed to the floor. A hand reached out for him, but Roxas couldn't find it within him to move just yet. He wanted so badly for the contact, to feel the sensation of the Flurry's hand upon him again, but to his dismay, it had pulled away due to the fear that was being exhibited by the eighth. He was shaking, though his voice, when he spoke, was trying so hard to keep in check.

Roxas.

As awful as it was, the boy smiled at the sound of his name being said by the other, though the gesture was small and barely noticeable. He was in a daze, completely omitting everything that had just been told to him out of his head for now. He didn't care about it. They would come back, just as they did, and everything would be okay. The entire point of this new opportunity was that they were all given a second chance, and the blond Nobody knew with the entirety of his being that Axel just wasn't like that anymore. Things had changed, and he could, too.

"I.. I want..." With what little strength the food and drink-deprived boy had left in him for now, he pulled himself across the soot-covered floor, not really enjoying how it felt on his skin, but that didn't matter a thing right now. All that mattered was the broken man in front of him - he didn't know if he would be able to fix it, but... He would try with everything that he had. Axel was his everything, and he would do anything to try and protect him. "I want you." He whispered just loud enough to be heard, finally being able to close to the distance. He let his fatigued body fall against the other.

Roxas sighed, his eyes automatically closing; the heat was just as magnificent and spectacular as always, and for the first time in about a week or so, he felt like he could sleep and gain energy from it. He felt like he could have sweet dreams again instead of the awful nightmares he had been consistently plagued with during the fiery male's absence.

"Please don't go again - I can't do it... I can't do it..." He was shaking his head as he spoke, blubbering out the words without thinking too terribly much. He couldn't think at this point. All of these things were running together, the only aspect of it all that the boy could really take in was the closeness that he had been missing so, so, so much.

"I need you-" As unhealthy and dependent as it was, Roxas wasn't lying. For right now, without Axel, he felt like nothing. He longed for that companionship and didn't know how to function without it. Being a Nobody attempting to learn the emotional ways of a real human being wasn't an easy thing to be going through, and Roxas hadn't a clue on how to go about it alone.

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The redhead was about to go. Through all his mutterings he had convinced himself that he needed to seek out death. He couldn't just off himself like he had the last time, that wasn't among the options. Getting himself into situations that ran the very high risk of him getting killed, that was agreeable. He would walk right into the Underworld and ask Hades for the small kindness of throwing him into his pit of souls, or the Fates to cut his string.

Then a small voice drew his attention. I want ...

And there it was. The final nail in the coffin. Roxas was going to tell him that he didn't want him here anymore. Something inside twisted, causing the Flurry to hunch over more. He was afraid to look up as he heard the blond moving slowly across the floor. Tears started to roll down his cheeks. He was shocked as the blond finally finished his statement and really couldn't believe that the Key still wanted him. He stared down at the boy as he collapsed on him, utter disbelief clear in his expression. How could he just dismiss all the terror he had wrought over the years, ignoring the fact that he had brought ruin to people that Roxas knew and possibly very well liked.

Yet, he couldn't tear himself away from someone that actually wanted him around. Roxas was choosing to believe in him, or at least decided that he was vital for the moment. He didn't think this could last but he would try for his little sunspot. He pulled the smaller male closer, wrapping his arms tightly around the Key. His hands were still shaking, but the rest of him was growing still and the only way anyone would know that he was crying would be to look at him. He buried his face in the golden locks and closed his eyes, trying to push away the pain and start focusing on taking care of his Key.

I'm sorry, Roxy. I'll stay as long as you want, He responded, knowing that he would definitely be heard. For now, he was needed to make sure that the other Nobody actually took care of himself. It seemed pretty clear that he hadn't been doing much to make sure that he was functioning properly. It seemed as if even a single Shadow could have come in and beaten his small lover. He had to find a way to make Roxas independent though. Yes, he could take care of himself usually, but if Axel being away for just a week had resulted in this, what was to happen when the redhead wasn't around anymore.

He tacked on one more task for himself. He took one deep breath and let it out slowly to calm himself. He shifted a little so his cheek rested atop Roxas' head and he looked at the mess he created. He was a complete disaster. I'll understand when you leave again, The Flurry whispered, resigning himself to the pain of eventual abandonment. At least this time he would see it coming, know exactly why, and be prepared for it. He didn't want the end to come, but it would be the best thing for the most important thing in his life. That would be the guiding force that kept him going. Death would wait until the Key of Destiny was ready to be on his own.

Roxas

♥ thanks tia!

[attr="class","tiacon"]

[attr="class","tiabox"]

♡TAGS: Axel

♡NOTES: I AM NOW BROKEN BEYOND RECOGNITION THANKS MADD

His his chest had been aching for so long that he had forgotten what it had felt like to be next to the one he loved, wrapped up in his arms and being made to feel like there was a place for him in this life. He felt as though he would now be able to push through, as long as he got to come back to this after the day was done. His tears were beginning to cease their exit from his eyes and he was able to take in breaths calmly now; Roxas was on the brink of calming down. The blond Nobody then heard the eighth say something about how he would understand when, not if, the keyblade bearer left again.

"No." He whispered quietly, though it was immediate and without thought. He didn't need to think about it - leaving Axel again was completely out of the question. They were all dealing with their problems and, in the end, it had all worked out for the best anyway, but.. That didn't mean it still didn't hurt. That didn't mean that the scourges wouldn't be there after time had passed. Wounds might heal, but scars remain etched into the skin as a painful memory forever.

"I'm not leaving again. I swear." He hoped that the verbal confirmation would be at least enough to let the redhead calm down about the aspect; he didn't want Axel to be consistently worried that he would be abandoned all over again - the two of them, or rather three of them, had done some awful things, but their intentions were always good. They wanted to stay with one another, to be able to make each other happy and remain a trio until the worlds ended. They were still dysfunctional, but they loved each other more than anything else.

"You've got me - always."

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The taller Nobody blinked at how quickly Roxas denied that he would be leaving again. He couldn't know that he would never do so again. In fact, Axel felt a lot more sure that he would. He wasn't safe to be around. This bit of pureness in his life needed to be protected and he would only tarnish it. He still couldn't see how the Key could be okay with what he had done. They were alone in part because of him.

He gave a small sigh and closed his eyes. He wasn't going to poke at the fact that Roxas seemed determined to stay with him. He could believe that for now but he wasn't going to count on it. He would just make sure that his boy would be able and willing to take care of himself. Finally, something that he could put his time and energy into with a good deal more interest. He didn't want to find the others because of his actions. Those that had died after him probably wouldn't know of his treachery, but most that went before him would know what awful things he had done to this Organization.

I love you. I really shouldn't have told you all that, He said quietly. He ran his hand over Roxas' arm in an attempt to keep them both calm. I never wanted you to know how awful I am. The admission of his faults was hard when it came to the Key of Destiny. The smaller male had always looked up to him with such adoration. It twisted something low in his stomach to know he had ruined it. He had always been the fixer of things for the squirts, not the one to break everything.

Axel shifted to tug the thirteenth more firmly in his arms. He wanted out of the formerly Grey Room. He needed to focus on simple things. Food, bath, sleep. These were necessary things. The firebug knew he needed a good scrub to get all the Port Royal off of him. From the look of things, Roxas needed to eat and a good night's rest at the very least. You need to eat, zombie. What can I make you? Yeah, he could totally go back to normal after this. Sure. There would be no issue with him pretending as if he hadn't tried to destroy the castle and the only relationship that was vaguely good for him.

Roxas

♥ thanks tia!

[attr="class","tiacon"]

[attr="class","tiabox"]

♡TAGS: Axel

♡NOTES: I AM NOW BROKEN BEYOND RECOGNITION THANKS MADD

Whatever awful place that he had been in was now beginning to fade away, and the boy was being left with nothing but the sensation of being wrapped up in the other Nobody's arms. All of it was like some sort of bad dream mixed with the overwhelming scent of smoke that was still enclosing around them. Demyx would probably be needed to help wash all of this nastiness out of here, but Roxas hadn't even known if the Nocturne had reformed anywhere, let alone if he would be willing to come back here, of all places, and help them clean.

Beforehand, he had felt nothing but exhaustion, but now he was beginning to feel the rumbling in his stomach. His body had been denied food for much too long, and his pale skin turned paler was beginning to show it. He looked virtually lifeless, but at least now the emotion had been brought back into the blue depths of his eyes. Going on didn't seem like a struggle anymore; his dependency was... Unhealthy, at this point. Perhaps as time went on he would be able to sustain himself and learn how to survive on his own, but as of now, his only drive were the ones that he loved. If they were to leave him, then he would be left with absolutely nothing to fight for, nothing to wake up to in the morning and nothing to drive him forward. It was as if his entire life was put on halt when Axel was away, but he could feel it beginning to switch gears and lurch forward again as a hand gently grazed the skin on his arm.

"I don't know.. Whatever's in there, I guess." He mumbled the words weakly, realizing now that the bed sounded extraordinarily unappealing; he had been sleeping this whole damn time! Why would he want to go back to bed now that Axel was here? Granted he wasn't exactly regaining any strength from his hours of "rest," though it could hardly be called that. "You don't have to, though." He pushed out the words again, looking upward at his face and smiling weakly. He honestly didn't care if he ate or not, he was.. Fine.

Just where he was.

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It seemed as if Axel's little sunspot had turned into a lump. An adorable lump even though he had chosen not to take care of himself properly. It was rather clear that he hadn't done a damn thing while the redhead was off trying to drown himself in rum. For all that he had taught the Key, he had never taught him how to care for himself. It hadn't been a concern at the time since the Flurry never thought that he wouldn't be there for him.

Things had changed a great deal and so did his priorities. While he didn't want to think that being consumed by darkness was his only option, that was what he had to prepare for. This was not something he could manipulate his way around. He lifted a hand to lightly trace over Roxas' cheek. You didn't take care of yourself, Rox. You need to eat. Axel shook his head and adjusted his grip so he could pick the smaller Nobody up. He was careful as he stood up, still a little unsteady on his own feet. Despite his higher body temperature and all the energy he had expended in burning the Grey Room, the alcohol hadn't completely burned off.

Now he had to make his slow way to the kitchen with Roxas cradled against his chest. He was trying so hard to think of anything that would be helpful. He was coming up blank for anything that wasn't an apology or an admission that he was terrible for Roxas and needed to leave. That did neither of them any good and he really just needed to focus on getting the blond well again. He walked into the kitchen and set other male down on a chair.

You can't take yourself out of commission like this when I'm not here. I need you to not fall apart on me, He said quietly, slowly removing his cloak and wrapping it around the blond. He turned away after a moment and grabbed an apple to start. He placed it in Roxas' hand so he could turn away again to focus on something a bit more substantial. The apple would give him some sugars he needed, but he would regain his color on only that. What can I do to make sure you take care of yourself? He asked, wondering just how bad Roxas' mental situation was.

Roxas

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♡TAGS: Axel

♡NOTES: I AM NOW BROKEN BEYOND RECOGNITION THANKS MADD

Right... Right. Eating was kind of a necessity and he had completely disregarded the state of his body and his health. He hadn't cared about himself, and in turn, no one else. How was he supposed to go out and find those who were lost if he was too busy sulking in bed all day because he didn't have Axel by his side? He didn't eat, he barely drank, he slept away days of his life, and he sure as hell didn't try to look for anyone that had been transported to this odd time period they were finding themselves in.

His little body was picked up, and he was so gone that he didn't even process how unsteady the redhead was on his feet. The rum was probably still in his system, but the boy's cognitive processes weren't advanced enough at the moment to put two and two together. Roxas' only concern was that he was being held by the eighth ex-member of Organization XIII, the furious assassin that lived on his terms and those alone. He had completely changed the Flurry in ways he couldn't begin to imagine, but the poor thing hadn't even begun to notice. He didn't know how well he had Axel wrapped around his fingers, but instead of so entirely dependent and devoted that he couldn't bring himself to function without his companionship.

What a messed up situation...

Roxas was plopped down in one of the chairs in the kitchen, his mind snapping to and attempting to fight through the haziness. What was said to him next was exactly had been on his mind, and as much as he wanted to say that he didn't need to be told, the blond Nobody kept his mouth shut - he really did deserve this, to be honest. He looked down at the table, hearing Axel continue to speak but turning the conversation in another direction with an odd question.

"That... Isn't your responsibility..." Roxas mumbled quietly, maybe a bit too quiet for the redhead to pick up on what he was saying. His voice was weak and weathered, picking up the apple in front of him. It was strange.. How unappealing food looked to him right now, but the moment he brought it to his lips and sunk his teeth in, a light came back into his eyes.

His stomach then started to scream, and he began to eat at the fruit relentlessly until the entire thing was gone. He finished off the apple in probably less then forty seconds at most, forgetting to breathe and having to catch his breath after being so ravenous. That alone was more than enough to bring him back from the dead, giving him a much more lifelike appearance rather than looking no more than a faded sculpture.

"It's my fault, anyway." Roxas sighed out the words, looking at the palm of his own hand before turning it into a loose fist. "I wanted to.. Go away, or something - I don't know. I thought if I just kept going to sleep I wouldn't have to feel anything." The blond jumped slightly as he realized something, something that was a bit too ironic.

"Weird to think how in the beginning I.. Was told I couldn't feel anything."

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Axel did not like how lifeless Roxas was right now. Had he been trying to fade? When the Organization had been in full swing, the redhead had gone off to Castle Oblivion, leaving Roxas on his own. He had come back to find the kid just fine, so why was this different? Had them deciding that their relationship was actually more than just best friends that much of a shift? That was stupid; obviously it was. Axel had gone and tried to drink himself into oblivion and the blond wanted to fade into it.

He shook his head. The both of them were a damn mess. He glanced behind him to see that the Key had finished his apple and was already looking better. The next thing would take a few minutes to prepare but it would be better for them. The cook decided on something that would help him as well. Setting a pot of water on the stove, he simply pressed his hand against it until the water boiled. He reached for a cabinet and a few packages inside as the blond spoke. You've always been different, special. It's like you always had a heart. I don't know why you wouldn't want to feel though, He said as he dropped pasta into the water.

He turned around and leaned against the counter, bare arms crossed. Feeling nothing isn't that great. I don't like this anger, but it beats that emptiness, He offered, letting Roxas know it was better to have the pain than nothing at all. To know there was a giant void that couldn't be filled. Axel had found that being with the Key had been the best thing to happen to him. That void slowly closed and became something a good deal better. Now he was forced to contend with this darkness and ruin everything that this small, wonderful Nobody had done to fix him.

The redhead started, remembering he was cooking food for them. He twisted to check on the noodles to find them done. I hope you're hungry. I think I made a little too much. Axel grabbed out two bowls and began seasoning the pasta as it went in, adding the water to create a broth. He set the table quickly and joined the thirteenth. He dug in, hoping that the last of the alcohol would get soaked up and leave him more clear headed and the broth would wash away the dizziness. He really shouldn't have drank that much or tried to burn the castle down. He was terrible at planning when not in his right mind.

Roxas

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